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..it just gets so hard..

3-31-2026

Just happened across one paper...


..out of a few hundred on a tiny thumb drive. 



Music link:     https://youtu.be/VmizCScGLmY  


I mean I probably have twenty or thirty thumb drives with various papers on them. This doesn't include my one Thumb Drive w/ a 1-Terabyte capacity, nor does it include two external hard drives with a 250 GB and one I bought years ago that held maybe 90 GB. 

It's actually so funny, it's like if you were to walk into the house in which someone was raised in yet had been a 'hoarder,' all his life. 

Newspapers, documents all sorts of papers...eight feet high in his living room!


I think that's how heaven must perceive my "Back up," of ministry papers?  


Anyway, last night I was re-recording my MP 3 Bible on some micro SD cards or TF Cards, and then I came across a thumb drive sitting all alone. I opened it to realize that it was just a thumb drive with a few hundred papers on it from 2010 and eleven. 

I clicked one paper for the heck of it, and it was a great little sermon. 


Was even inspired to include on a web page tonight, since I have been getting ready to release a number of papers on the "State of the Church, today.:

 

No, you probably don't want to hear my opinion yet though. so, it's still a few days off. 


The thing is though, I just am so disgusted and disappointed with today's church, that it has become so difficult to even release or finish a paper. 


The other night, I must have spent eight hours writing one paper, but I just couldn't finish it. Then for a few days after that I have a subject one right after the other that I feel I ought to comment on, but then just waves of more disappointment comes forth almost every day I turn on a new 'Trend," on Churchy social media. 


Do you realize that this is the state of the church? Just one trend or another which normally results in one part of the "Body of Christ," going after and attacking another. 


It is disgusting. 


Nevertheless, the following is a copy of a paper in which I authored over fifteen years ago. 

Somebody, please tell me if anything has changed in the church???


Also, please forgive me for not reformatting it as I did not plan to use this time tonight for posting anything. Many times, when I paste on my site I have to reformat. 


I titled it, "I am a soldier..."


(Not a word has been changed, exactly as written over fifteen years ago. )


Also, let me mention that no one could have ever perceived other than myself as I consistently prophesied the church as it is today. No, no one could have ever imagined that there would be hundreds of so-called 'Whistle Blowers," or as I like to call them "GOSSIP MONGERS, SLANDERERS, SELF RIGHTEOUS SLOBS all reporting on a community bulletin board at Church...I'm sorry, I meant on the community Church Board, who some call "You Tube." 

and I am not even mentioning the other hundreds of thousands or millions who read it every day, in order to get their daily bucket of Pig's slop. 


Thank you Jesus!


From June 9th, 2010:



Matthew 7:14-17 (New American Standard Bible)


 14"For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

 15"Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.

 16"You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they?

 17"So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.  


2nd Music link:     https://youtu.be/PSdjQpaZcbw

 

Memorial day, I was stuck in a house and wanted to read some fiction, well the library was closed, so I found a book that I would not normally choose to read. It was called Inside Delta Force, by Eric L. Haney.


    Mr. Haney was one of the very first members of this "elite" fighting team that was created to battle the terrorists, around the world. The men were chosen from the Army Rangers, and other special forces to complete a grueling test of stamina and endurance of a few months or so. When the Army decided to create this "elite force," they had begun with one hundred and sixty three men, before it was over they had eighteen men who could complete that psychological and physical endurance of the testing. Even after months of this rigorous, "stress phase," training of the eighteen, six more were dropped from the program after they faced the Commander's board.


    This was a board of the superiors who were to interview the soldier's after "stress phase."

    Four were dismissed permanently, and two were able to reenlist and go through the second class. But of the 163 candidates, only seven per cent were accepted, or worthy of the name "Delta Force." As I read this book and the first hundred or so pages were just about completing this rigorous training it reminded me of the Christian life.


    Have you ever been in one of those old wood frame churches, and they begin clapping their hands, and singing a song, "I am a soldier, in the Army of the Lord..."


    Once, I worked with this black lady, and she was one of the most obnoxious, hardheaded, selfish people, that I had worked with up to that time.


    Finally, we were thrown together, in a department, and the first thing I did was to let her know that I was a Christian.


     I always do this, because it can save much embarrassment for you, or especially for another person, because many people act different if they think you aren't a Christian.


    Well, the moment I told this woman, she started singing, "I'mmm a soldier, I'm a soldier, in the Army of the Lord...." then she started doing this little dance within a two-foot area or something?


    Well, at least we tolerated each other, after that?


    "No, actually, we got along good, once we had established that common bond between us."


    She was a different person, after I told her that I was a Christian, you see, with some people, "their Christianity, is merely a show for others."  


    Nonetheless, I can still see her doing her little dance, "I am a soldier...."


    Well, I am reading this book, and I am seeing what it really takes to be a member of an "elite force."


    I believe that the church should be an "elite force."


    Do you know what I am talking about?


    I am talking about "walking as an elite soldier" for the Lord.

    

    I am going to quote some paragraphs or anecdotes from this book. I hope that you will see along with me, the parallels that I drew from this, as to honor, integrity and respect that we should be able to walk in, if we are going to call ourselves "soldiers of the Lord."


    On page forty Mr. Haney tells how they were supposed to go out on maneuvers, and one of the things they were told was to bring a ruck sack loaded with forty pounds of weight. After a seven-mile hike he sees some scales up ahead, but before he gets there, he sees a fellow soldier having his gear weighed.

    It fell under the forty-pound provision, so the man on duty, lifted up a piece of concrete and told the soldier, "I weighed this myself, it weighs exactly forty pounds, you can either quit or carry this the next thirteen or so miles."

    The man had disqualified himself, and left in shame. Mr. Haney, had added a few extra pounds to his, so he had no trouble that day.


    What kind of weight are you carrying for the Lord?


    I fear that there are many Christians, who forgot their "rucksack," back at home, "forget the forty pounds, they have no ruck sack, anyway?"

    

    A few weeks into the course, and they had other maneuvers, but were only told on a "need to know" basis. One day they may have gone on a twenty mile hike, and then have had orders for some other training.


    No one told them, as to how good they were doing, or if they were doing it on time, or whether or not they were doing it right, but they just had to keep plugging at it.


    After finishing the leg of a grueling trek, Mr. Haney was told to go sit over there by a tree, he writes, about what he was thinking, "This must be the finish point of the day, and I must be doing okay, I thought. I'm the only one here so I must be first. No, maybe I am late and a truck full has already gone in. No, that can't be right, to get here farther than I did you would have to run all day. But maybe the others didn't come from my starting point; maybe they came from other points and had different legs, maybe...Maybe Hell! I don't know and I am not going to worry about it, or waste energy trying to figure it out. I'll just do my best and if that isn't good enough they can send me home."


    Later he is thinking "What is going to happen next. Was I moving fast enough? How long was it all going to last? Were there 'spies,' in the course watching...


    In the next page, he tells of one of his peers, a "well built, tough looking, Sergeant First Class, serving on drill sergeant duty, with a basic training brigade."


    "When they piled out of the truck, he walked over to a cadre member and reported that he wanted to voluntarily withdraw from the course."


    The author says, word filtered down that he stated that "he couldn't stand not knowing what he would be doing next, or the day after that."


    It was very taxing on his nerves, not knowing what was going to happen tomorrow, so he withdrew. He quit the race, because he wasn't able to endure it.


    A lot of Christians are like that, they refuse to do what is right, for "fear," that tomorrow might be "difficult," so they waste their lives away, in their "comfort zone," of "worthlessness." Or perhaps they store up for themselves treasures in this life, just in case their thousands and millions might some day be gone?


    "Worthless soldiers," to God.  


    "Take no thought for tomorrow, but trust in me. Store not up for yourselves riches and comforts."


     "The blind leading the blind!"


    Some of these men couldn't even get out of bed on time. Listen to this, quote, "If someone missed the truck, he was never seen or spoken of again. The steady disappearance of men was downright eerie..."


    Have you ever met any Christians who have never learned a "work ethic," thirty or forty years old, and they need 'mama,' to clean up after them, or to wake them up in the morning?"


    Sitting around their entire life, playing video games or strumming on an instrument?


    "Wasting their lives away," watching life go by, "in a coffee shop?"


    "It's downright eerie?"

    

    Here is a quote from page 73, "Every man who ultimately makes it through Delta selection has had to gauge his performance by his own internal yardstick, He's had to give his utmost because he couldn't be sure just how good, was good enough."


    Jesus said, "there are just a few of you who will enter by the narrow gate."


    Nevertheless, our churches are filled with leaders who basically say, "all you have to do, is to keep coming to my church, and putting your guilt offerings, (tithes) into the bucket, and you have passed the course."


    How many Christians live by an "internal yardstick," that propels them to greater tests and trials, or do they all just follow a "man and his yardstick?"


    "Our leaders," have almost all, deviated from the 'yardstick' that was given by God."


    They twist and distort the scriptures to make God, into something He is not, but it serves their purposes well, doesn't it?


    This is a quote from page 74, "As I looked around at my campmates, and thought about the men, I had seen in the last couple of days, it hit me that every man here was more or less average. All shapes sizes and builds-but no massive men."


    The church is filled with "little men," who think that they have to be giants especially "gifted" or "talented," or "discipled" to be a leader in the church.


    "No," if you look at half the people that are running the leadership in the churches, they aren't especially gifted, in anything other than "conning" men and women out of their livelihood?


     These are men of the lowest stature, in the church, yet they are running it. 


Go figure that one out?

    

 Most plagiarize other's sermon, and haven't any real "revelation, by themselves."


    A great many are just "con men," who have learned how to manipulate the people, through the American church system.


    God is looking for "leaders," who are "shepherds," and who "care for the flock," not to fleece them, but to teach them righteousness, character, and to do what is right, no matter the cost."

    

    At the end of this course, the men had to read a map and figure their coordinates, to come to the conclusion of a forty miler, carrying like forty or seventy pounds.


    This man Haney got mixed up and deviated from the path, he added fifteen miles to his forty milers, but he realized his mistake and came back out of the forest only to come, "face to face," with his superior officer.


    His superior officer was right there, "Ahh C'mon Haney, you screwed up, there is no way you are going to make the whole forty miler, now."


    "Why not just give up and call it quits, you screwed up Haney."


    Haney walked right by him, and made the next weigh station, or RV, as the book calls it, passing a number of men along the way.


    He had added fifteen miles to a forty mile hike, carrying like forty to seventy pounds, and he had still passed some other men, who had not deviated from the course.


    He is bone tired, and had walked an estimated eighteen hours, when he can barely make it to the next RV station. His feet are numb, there is hardly any feeling, he is cold, tired, ready to collapse, but he approaches, the station, and his superior officer, is right there.


    "Haney, I am telling you for your own good, you can't make it, there is no way you are going to finish this day out, why not just quit now. C'mon Haney, give it a rest, you are only hurting yourself."


    Haney keeps walking by him, so his officer says, "let me see your flashlight, do you have fresh batteries, in there? Give me that flashlight for a second."


    Haney, says exasperatedly to himself, "why is this guy screwing with me, why doesn't he just leave me alone."


    "Physically, mentally, psychologically, the man is exhausted, but his superior won't leave him alone."


    Finally, he shows his superior officer that the flashlight has batteries, by shining it on the ground.


    "Okay that's good," he said, as I leaned my weight forward to step away. "But you don't have to go any farther, Haney. You've finished. You have successfully completed Stress Phase and the Forty Miler."


    The man could've quit right there as the devil's advocate was trying to force him to quit, but he didn't.


    He had finished the course. He had met the requirements, of all that was asked of him.


     Isn't this just like Satan to get you to quit, even after you have finished the course?  


    Now, he just had to have a psychological test, and to go before the Commander's board.

    

    The next day though they had to finish a peer report. These were questions such as:

    "Who do you think showed the most character?"

    "Who seemed the most competent?"  

    "Who was the weakest?"

    "Who would you most want by your side in combat?"

    "Who would you least want by your side in combat?"

    "Who do you most trust?"

    "Who do you least trust?"

    "If you had to reject one man from this group who would it be, and why?"

    

    Have you asked these questions about the people that you fellowship with?


    Are you in a church or a cult?


    Are these people in your church living for God, will they lay their lives down for what is right?


    Do they have any integrity, in the church?


    Do your peers in the church have any character?


    Do they have any standards?


    Are they Christian or merely fugitives from justice?


    Or perhaps, they just "pervert," God's justice and call everything good.


    These are questions that Christians should be asking themselves?


    "Is this a church where anything goes, because we preach 'free grace?'"


    Well, Mr. Haney, saw the psychologist along with all the other men, who had finished the course, and he had angered every one of them, the consensus was that he was a little "nuts."


    Well, the day comes when Mr. Haney was asked to sit before the 'Commander's board."


    The first question was asked, "Haney, I understand that you don't like officers?"


    He tells the reader, "I had told myself before this started that I would be brutally honest and not tap dance around any question."


    He answered, "That's correct sir." he goes on, "I despise most of the officer's that I have ever met."


    He goes on to tell the reaction of this top officer running the whole show, "He came unglued, his eyes swelled and turned red, and the veins bulged out in his neck."


    The Commanding Officer, cursed, "%^&*@#$% Haney, that's the most mutinous thing that I have ever heard. What the hell's wrong with you? How could you make a statement like that?"


    Haney answers, "Sir, most of the officer's that I have met, spend the majority of their time, scheming for career progression, and looking for ways to stab each other in the back. The only good thing about that is that they leave the NCOs and the soldiers alone to get on with unit business, at least until they want to put on some dog and pony show, to impress someone with how great they are?"

 

    Later it says, the General ask him, "Well Sergeant smart ass, what did you think of "stress phase?"


    Haney replies, "Sir, I kept waiting for the stress to start."


    "You what," he leapt up from his chair spraying spittle through the air. "You kept waiting for the 'stress to start?'"


    "What in God's name do you mean by that? Are you out of your mind?"


    His face was so swollen with rage," he says.


    "I thought he might have a stroke, He stood there gasping for air and gaping at me," Haney says.


    "Sir, I ate four meals a day, and slept eight hours every night, no one was shooting at me, I never stepped on a land mine, The weather was good, I never got frostbite or had heat exhaustion. I was responsible for myself and no one else. Yep, it was hard in some ways, the hardest thing that I have ever done. But Sir, there are more difficult things in life than 'Selection.'"


    This went on for a while, and the author says, "Beckwith would rant until he literally ran out of breath and then someone else, in the room with something else would come at me. I was getting it from all sides."


    Finally, it got quiet, and a Sergeant Major Grimes, says to Haney, "Haney, the peer reports of the other men indicated that they don't think very highly of you," said they thought "you were a pretty poor example of a soldier."


    Haney says, "I thought for a few seconds about what he said. Then I answered, "Sergeant Major that's #$%^&*&*, and you know it."  

    

    Well, did he pass the board of Commanders? Of course he did, twelve men, out of one hundred and sixty-three, became "Delta Force," from that first class.


    What are your church statistics?


    "I can look at your leaders and tell you."


    In many churches, "you would be lucky to come out with one successful candidate."


    This is because men like evil, and they love to follow other men, they have very little "inward yardstick," to walk by.


    They are simply content to remain in their little "comfort zone" of "worthlessness."


    But then, "we wouldn't have the American church, if they were different, would we?"


    "No, we wouldn't have the judgments of God, upon our nation either, would we?"

    

    "Well, I'm a soldier, in the army of the Lord, I am a ..."

    

Matthew 7:13 (New Living Translation)

 13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way.

    

Luke 13:24 (New Living Translation)

24 “Work hard to enter the narrow door to God’s Kingdom, for many will try to enter but will fail.



3rd Music link:     https://youtu.be/fTzXJMU1sLc


Disclaimer:  Any resemblance from the preacher in the last link to our modern church leaders, either within the Charismatic Church or critical of the Charismatic Church is purely coincidental.

This can also be said for either 'early morning shows' or for "late night" hosts either working for Fox News, or at any other cable television stations. 


..wink, wink!





Aye, it's a bloody holiday!


Link:     https://www.istockphoto.com/vector/hand-holding-wrench-icon-gm955388102-260849327



Music link:     https://youtu.be/jQDtJyYaigE  


"You Know, the church needs to put down it's weapons against each other and to start caring for it's children." 


Following from "Google AI:"


AI Overview


Jesus says, "Let the little children come to me," in all three of the Synoptic Gospels: Matthew 19:14, Mark 10:14, and Luke 18:16. In these passages, Jesus rebukes his disciples for trying to keep children away, stating that "to such belongs the kingdom of God". 


Key Locations:


Matthew 19:14 (ESV): "But Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.'"


Mark 10:14 (ESV): "...'Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.'"


Luke 18:16 (ESV): "...'Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.'" 


The context in Mark and Matthew notes that Jesus was indignant with the disciples, took the children in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them. 


2nd AI Overview


Jesus said it would be better for a person to have a millstone tied around their neck and be thrown into the sea than to cause a "little one" (believer) to stumble. This teaching is found in Matthew 18:6 and Luke 17:2, emphasizing the severe consequences of causing others to sin. 


Key Locations:


Matthew 18:6 (NLT): "But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in Me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea".


Luke 17:2 (NKJV): "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones". 




You know, earlier today I was out and about, and I kept seeing these flags flying over various parts of the city. I noticed a pattern, as well, as they seemed to be over many municipal buildings.


From "Google AI:"


AI Overview


Municipal buildings are structures owned, leased, or operated by a local government (city, town, or village) to house administrative functions, public services, and civic activities. They serve as hubs for local governance, including city halls, municipal courts, police/fire stations, public libraries, and community centers. 


Key Aspects of Municipal Buildings:


Purpose: These buildings are used for conducting the business of the municipality.


Examples: City Halls, Town Halls, Police Departments, Public Libraries, Community Centers, and administrative offices.


Distinction: They are distinct from state or federal buildings, focusing specifically on local administration.


Synonyms: Town hall, City hall, Civic center, Municipal center, Town office, Local government building. 


Common Usage Examples:


Administrative Offices: Hosting city council meetings, mayoral offices, and city clerk services.

Public Services: Providing spaces for public libraries, sanitation department offices, or senior centers.


Emergency Services: Housing local police departments, fire stations, or ambulance services.


Community Hubs: Serving as venues for community gatherings, recreation, or cultural events. 



Well, I have to admit, I thought, "How strange is that, I wonder what all these flags represent?"


Anyway, I got home and you know, I spend a lot of time on my computer. Nevertheless, it wasn't until I was getting ready to watch my daily fixation of "Bat Masterson," around four, when I turned on one of them daily, "Talk Shows." 


You know, this was hosted by one of those 'chicks,' who got their start on a "Reality Show," it was either "Who wants to be a millionaire," or perhaps 'who would like to be worshipped as an American Idol?"


I'm sorry, I never watched any of that tripe, so I always get confused when trying to remember. 


Nonetheless, her theme for the day was the celebration of "Transgender Day," and although, I just caught a moment of it before it popped to commercial break, I did get to see one elderly folk with grey hair momentarily. 


Unfortunately, since I was late in turning it on, I missed out on the fact, as if she were a man or a woman or a "Binary." 


I think that's what they call them, I don't really know though, as I have never had the pleasure in meeting one of them. 


Well, later after I was meditating on the whole situation.....well...I'm not sure the court the other day made the right judgment. 


You see, if they get rid of all the Social Media, or of those who exploit it, "How are we to figure out what all these flags mean?"

 

"How will we know what a 'Binary Fella,' is."


"What's going to be next?'


"Bat Masterson without a Penis?"


Transgender Flag:   https://www.istockphoto.com/vector/hand-holding-wrench-icon-gm955388102-260849327


(I believe this is the one, not sure, as there might be another? 

I've never been good with Social Media!)


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